Today what we see in the world is the end result of life choices – we see illness or disease, varying degrees of behaviour that do not make sense, overwhelm, anxiety, suicide, death, relationship issues and so on, and we naturally want a fix, stop or remedy to either what we are physically or emotionally experiencing, or what we see is happening for others.
While it is important to seek and receive the respective and necessary treatment for whatever ails us as part of taking care of ourselves, do we ever go beyond the surface and ask or consider “I wonder why…?".
I wonder why that person is reacting that way?
I wonder why I continue to do this or that in a particular way – a way that past experience shows has not worked?
I wonder why I keep resorting to the same old patterns of behaviour – is it safe yet restricting at the same time?
I wonder why I act differently around certain people than others?
And the biggie…
I wonder why I leave things until the last minute or until ‘crisis point’ before I'm forced to do something about it?
So why do we wait until we are chronically ill before we do something about our health and well-being, or let our relationship get to break-down point before we address what ails it?
We are inundated with lots of remedies and quick fixes, however my experience of meeting Serge Benhayon and being inspired by what he lives and presents through Universal Medicine shows that what is key in all of this is True Expression.
How do we truly communicate and express with others?
It sounds like a CSI investigation, a police interrogation, a military general’s strategy or a sporting team's tactics planning session – all to ensure whether or not it is safe to express how we feel... or perhaps we choose to water-down or even not express what is there to be said. How does swallowing or limiting our expression feel? Sore and tight throat and neck, tightness in the chest, stomach in knots, anxious, and heightened (or is that tightened) nervous system – and that’s just the physical symptoms.
What is seen all too often at the news of someone’s illness or accident, a natural disaster, or the death or passing of someone, is the incredible sadness and regret, whether one is close to the person or not. What is commonly spoken or unspoken at a funeral for example is the remorse or deep regret of what has been left unsaid or unexpressed, not only to this person but to others in their life.
How often do we hold back from saying what we truly feel – whether to partners, friends, work colleagues, staff and business partners, our wider community, worrying about how they will respond or react, querying whether we've got it right, and whether we'll be loved, liked, accepted or fit in with others and the world?
For many we fear standing out or being different, ruffling feathers or rocking the boat, and instead we can choose to be accommodating, compromising, nice and pleasing, easy-going, trying to keep the peace and stay under the radar to keep the family together, keep that job, the partner, the friend, the staff member, client, business, etc..
There were many beliefs and ideals I experienced growing up – some that I subscribed to and others that made no sense, such as:
- Kids should be seen and not heard
- Another's religious beliefs, religion and the political party of choice are not polite dinner or otherwise conversation – so were considered off-limits
- The menstrual periods or cycles of girls and women are a taboo and completely off-limits topic of conversation – anywhere
- Boys and men are not supposed to cry though it was okay and a natural expectation that females could and would...
Fear of 'getting it wrong'
Such beliefs and ideals, along with the ill-experience from school days – worrying if I put up my hand and got it wrong I would be ridiculed, teased or bagged by fellow students, or that I would get in trouble – meant that the potential fall out or ill-consequences outweighed any attempt at true expression.
Guess what? There was no way I was going to stick my neck out unless I was 100% sure it was not going to be on the chopping block – particularly as the school playground for me was like the Spanish inquisition or standing before the executioner.
So what I felt at the time but did not express has laid dormant and stagnant in my body like an un-emptied rubbish bin. This then has been the breeding ground for illness and disease, not only in terms of my health, but in personal, business and professional relationships.
However over recent years I have re-learned and been inspired to simply express how I feel, whether with or without the seeming fear, anxiety and overwhelm, as it is more imprisoning, un-safe, harmful and excruciating to you (and to all others) to hold back what is there to communicate and express.
Any discomfort, doubt and fear is simply an opportunity to exercise a muscle that has not been exercised for a long time. We need to be understanding and lovingly supportive of ourselves while we go through this process.
Chris James is another who is instrumental in helping and supporting many people worldwide with unlocking the blocks that hinder our natural communication and expression, whether with our family, friends, colleagues or the wider community.
In his workshops, private sessions and events Chris helps us explore the how, when and why of our expression with practical and fun exercises, know-how and tips that work. You'll soon discover you have lots to say and share with people – and enjoy the amazing and positive flow-on effects that emerge as a result, all key to our relationships with people and how we live and express freely in the world.
By Susan Scully